


The Torture I Go Through

by aksudaisy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Foul Language, I don't know, M/M, Slight horror, Swearing definitely, future smut?, you'll see eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7010917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aksudaisy/pseuds/aksudaisy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki had gotten away from Arima. He was beaten to near death, but he still survived with the last of his strength. Now he is living in the abandoned 1st ward where only the cheapest criminals live. He has made a decision to stop eating. Because of this, his hunger grows and he becomes a monster. In a battle against his loved one and closest friends, they all get transported to a different universe. They need to find a way back home from a world with human eating monsters called titans. What will happen to them in the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Attack on Titan and Tokyo Ghoul crossover fanfiction. If you do not like some of the ships or the animes/mangas don't read this.

Kaneki looked over the city as he was standing on top of the tallest building in the 16th ward. He had taken a small break a ward away, being carful to stay hidden, to try to regenerate and heal a bit. Kaneki had heard rumors about the 1st ward when he was still human. They had said it was abandoned long ago and now was a place where only the cheapest criminals and poorest people lived. They had said it was one of the most dirty, no good place with alot of criminal activity. As Kaneki looked down at the city, he started thinking of what to do.

'This is the best place to be in. The CCG or Aogiri won't start looking for me hear. Or I hope they don't. I need to start figuring things out,' kaneki thought as he lept down from the building.

He had already decided to stop eating, and now he was going do it. He decided that he was going to only consume coffee. He knows it sounds stupid, but he really doesn't want to eat anymore. He doesn't want to kill or hurt anyone anymore.

The sky was filled with dark grey clouds and the streets smelled of smoke and grime. It certainly was a horrible place to live in, but Kaneki had no other choice. He had to stay here a while until he got stronger. He wasn't strong enough to save Hide, Hinami's parents, or many of the other people/ghouls that he was closed to. He had to make the CCG pay for their actio- no. He had to teach them a lesson.

Water started pouring from the sky as lightning flashed and thunder shook the air. Kaneki needed to find a place to stay in while he was staying here. With a small sigh, he starts running from rooftop to rooftop. Abandoned apartment buildings fly past Kaneki as a grey blur. Down below, there are only a few people rushing down the sidewalks, trying to find a place of shelter from the storm.

After a few minutes, Kaneki finally finds an abandoned apartment building with a large suite on the final floor. He jumps down onto the large balcony and walks towards the unlocked balcony glass doors. He opens the door, walks into the suite, and locks the doors behind him. He was standing in the living room. There was dust everywhere. 

There was two large empty book shelves against the wall on one side, a large couch, a glass coffee table, a big flat screen TV, and a lamp hanging from the ceiling. There was a large opening in the wall that, Kaneki found out, leads to the kitchen. The kitchen was large. There was a refrigerator, freezer, many cabinets, a stove, and a microwave. A long counter was placed a meter away from the stove and it contained a few more cabinets and two sinks.

He looks into the refrigerator and is greeted by a horrible smell. He quickly closes the refrigerator door. There was two wooden doors on the other side of the room. He walks over to one of them and opens it. A beautiful dinning room was hidden behind the first door. A hallway was hidden behind the second one.

Kaneki walks down the hallway. He finds the bathroom, washroom, two guestrooms, a work room, and a bedroom. The bathroom consisted of a toilet, a large sink, and a bathtub with a shower head attached to the wall. A mirror door hung from above the sink and a small cabinet was underneath the sink. The washroom had a washing machine, a dryer, a ironing board and, a sink. The guestrooms consisted of a large bed, side tables, a window, a desk, and a closet. A bathroom connected both guestrooms.

The last room Kaneki looked in was the bedroom. It was one of the largest rooms in the whole suite. There was a large king sized bed covered in black, dark grey, and crimson colored sheets, duvet, and pillows. Four long pillars extended from the corners of the bed frame. Black and silver silk curtains were tied to the pillars by a dark crimson ribbon, keeping them in place.

On either side of the bed were nightstands with a lamp on both of them. A big trunk was placed at the end of the bed. On the other side of the room was a big closet with a full length mirror next to it and a desk.

A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling in the middle of the room. Two very large windows were placed on the wall oposite of the door that led to the hall. Matching curtains, as on the bed, framed the glass windows. Kaneki walks up to them. Dark grey clouds, rain, and the dirty city can be seen on the other side of the glass. The streets are empty. Kaneki sighs softly and closes the curtains, making the city dissappear behind them.

Soon, Kaneki notices a wooden door on the wall a few meters away from him. He walks towards it. Behind the door is a large bathroom similar to the other ones, but this one had two sinks with a long and wide mirror hanging above them, a toilet, a large bathtub that could hold two people, and a big and roomy shower. The shower had glass panels on each side and it could fit atleast three or more people in it. White fluffy towels hang from hooks that are on the wall. 

Kaneki starts stripping away his ripped and blood soaked uniform. He places his mask onto the sink and throws his uniform into the clothing bin that was next to the toilet. He was going to have to fix it. Kaneki opens one of the glass panels and steps into the shower. He turns it on and lets the hot water hit him. The water feels so good against his sore body. It slightly stings his healing eye that Arima had pierced through with his quinque.

He reaches over to the small shelf attached to the shower wall. He picks up the soap and starts washing his body, letting the water wash away the soap and making his skin clean. Soon, Kaneki's hand grabs for the shampoo and conditioner, and he starts scrubbing them into his hair and scalp. The soapy water washes down the drain along with the dried blood, dirt, and grime. Shutting the shower off, Kaneki steps out of it and grabs one of the fluffy white towels.

He dries his body off, then wraps the towel around his waist and walks towards the sink. He wipes the steam off the mirror and looks at himself. There are dark circles under his eyes. A small hole is in the area where his ghoul eye is located. It had healed immensly.

Walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, Kaneki lets the towel fall from his waist and onto the floor as he stumbles towards the bed. He lifts the covers and slides under them. He is swallowed into the softness and warmth of the bed. It is dark in the room.

'I'm going to whip this place up into excellent shape tomorrow,' Kaneki thinks before his eyes close and he falls into a deep sleep.


	2. Cleaning, Shopping, & Thinking

It was the middle of the day when Kaneki woke up. He yawns, stretches, and gets out of bed. He walks over to the large windows and looks down at the city below. A few people were up and walking around.

Today Kaneki had to start cleaning and get the suite in proper condition. Kaneki had noticed yesterday that there were dark shadows on the walls of most of the room in the suite. Paintings must of been hung there where the shadows were. Despite all the books, clothes, paintings, and pictures being missing, the suite seemed to be in the exact same condition as it was before it was abandoned. The only things that had changed were the dust and cobwebs.

He walks over to the bathroom and goes to the sink. He opens the cupboard and find that there is a toothbrush still in its packaging. He also finds a tube of toothpaste. Opening the packaging, he puts some of the mint flavored white substance onto the bristles of the brush. He then starts brushing his teeth.

Finished brushing his teeth, he spits out the foam and washes his mouth with some water. Looking up into the mirror, Kaneki sees that his eye has heal completely. There are no marks from the attack left. All the cuts and bruises on his body are also gone.

Kaneki walks out of the bathroom and to the closet. Opening the doors, he finds a pair of black boxer briefs and puts them on. He also finds black shorts and a sleeveless dark grey colored croptop. Though the closet was mostly empty, there were three tops and bottoms, two pairs of underwear and socks, a black hoodie, and a pair of red converse sneakers. 

'A boy my age who really liked wearing sceneish clothing must of lived here,' Kaneki thought as put the clothes on. He walks over to the full length mirror. His eyes widen slightly at how good the clothes fit him. He might start wearing this type of clothing style.

Once he finished dressing, Kaneki gets to work. He walks to the washroom and finds some wash cloths, cleaning equipment, and cleaning chemicals. He starts cleaning the walls, floors, ceilings, the kitchen, the washroom, the bathrooms, etc. He cleaned the whole suite until it was spotless. Cleaning helped his mind from wandering. Books also helped.

Two hours and a half later, the entire suite was spotless. Kaneki had scrubbed the floors, dusted the furniture, cleaned out the refrigerator without throwing up, and many other things too. He had decided to "buy" all the clothes, books, and other things when the night arrived. He didn't want people to be around him. He didn't want to smell their sweet blood or hear their hearts beat around him. He didn't want to eat at all.

Finally finished cleaning the suite, he makes himself a freshly brewed cup of coffee. He sits on the stool that is for the small isle table that was attached to the counter with the sinks. The isle was a few centimeters shorter than the counter. He sips his coffee as he waits for night fall.

\--- time skip ---

The wind tussled Kaneki's snow white hair as he was perched on the roof of the abandoned and broken shopping mall. He slipped in through the opening that used to be for a window and down onto the first floor. Kaneki didn't even falter in his steps as he started walking towards one of the many shops in the building. The shop he was walking towards was a clothing store.

Silently breaking into the shop, being careful not to sound an alarm off, Kaneki headed towards the tops. The shop had many gothic and emoish styled clothes. He lifted a long-sleeved black shirt with pleather sleeves up. Kaneki really liked this style of clothing for some reason after his "reincarnation". He shivered slightly at the memories.

Shaking his head, Kaneki started picking out different shirts, pants, jackets, and other accessories. When his arms were filled with different articles of clothing, he headed to the changing rooms. After a long time of putting on clothes and seeing if he liked them, Kaneki finally picks his favorite articles of clothing from his quite large pile. He ripped off the tags and threw them into the trash. He found a large plastic bag and placed all the clothes into it. 

Kaneki guickly ran into the grocery store and grabbed some fresh coffee beans. Once he got the beans, he started making his way home. Home, such a strong word. Home can mean the place where you live, the place where your family or bestfriends live at all together, or many other things. His home when he was younger living with his mother and Anteiku used to be his home. Now they were just places, buildings, that had alot of memories.

Kaneki sighs softly as he walks into the suite. He places the coffee beans in the kitchen cupboard, before going to the washroom to wash his brand new clothes. In the washroom, Kaneki sorts the clothes into pile according to their color. There were only four piles, the blacks, the whites, the greys, and the reds. These four are his favorite colors.

Thwe was two washing machines, so he places the whites and really light greys into one. He places the blacks and dark greys into the other washing machine. He turns on the machines and lets them start washing after adjusting the machine to the required settings. While the clothes were in the washing machine, Kaneki goes out again. 

While he had come back to the suite, he had noticed a book store nearby. He really needed something to do if he was going to stay here. So why not do the one thing he loves to do? Listen to music while reading. He hasn't done that in a long time.

He makes it to the book store, which he also found out was also a music store. Numerous amounts of books and manga were stacked onto shelves, same with the cds in the music part of the store. Kaneki walked down through the isles, once in a while taking a book, manga, or cd off a shelf and looking at it. The building had three floors. The first floor was for books, the second floor for manga and comics, and the third floor was for the music.

After finding two large plastic bags, Kaneki gathered a big pile of books, manga, and cds and placed them into the bags. The bags were quite heavy, so he puts another bags over the filled ones. Making sure they are sturdy, he makes his way home, being careful not to sound the alarms and cause alot of attention. In the bags were some books he's read before and some new ones. He had gotten into manga with the help of Hide. Kaneki sighs sadly remembering his best friend who died. He wasn't strong enough to even save his childhood best friend from death.

Walking into the suite, he set the plastic bags onto the floor next to the empty shelves in the living room. He went into the washroom and unloaded the first load. Placing the cleaned clothes into a large basket, he then started the next load. He had to do the last load tomorrow. Kaneki looked at the clock and sees that he had been gone for about five hours. 

Walking into the bedroom he got ready for bed. He had gotten a little bit dirty and sweaty from all the cleaning, so he was going to take a shower. Stripping his clothes off and placing them into the wash bin, Kaneki got into the shower. Letting the warm water wash over him, he started thinking about how he had gotten to the place he was now in. He had gone through alot.

His thoughts remembered the moment when he had fought Touka's brother, Ayato. Kaneki was intrigued by the boy. When he was on a 'rampage' with Tsukiyama and Banjo they would cross paths with him once in a while. He sometimes followed Touka's brother and started to investigate the boys movements and personality. He had felt something in his stomach when he and Ayato had fought.

When he had half killed. He had felt really bad. Something inside him had stirred. 

Letting a single tear slide down his cheek, he finishes his shower. He dried off and got ready for bed. Once under the covers, Kaneki hoped that Ayato was safe. He didn't know why, but it felt right. Maybe, he was in love with him. Kaneki had a small smile on his lips as he fell asleep, thinking about the times he spent with Ayato.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if I put the names wrong in this chapter and the others. I'm still not so sure about the naming yet. (First and last names) So I apologize beforehand. Also, some of the characters that died in the anime or manga are most likely still alive. Also, Ayato is two years older than he actually is.

A boy of the age of 18 was sitting on a old and slightly broken chair. His face was cupped in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. He felt tired and lonely. A certain someone had dissappeared without a trase, not even the smallest clue left behind. The boy sighs, raking his hand through his indigo colored hair. 

"Where did you go?" He says aloud. Ayato sighs again. He had fallen in love with that person who had dissappeared. He had seen that person and had fought with him many times before, but Ayato always made it seem like he hated Kaneki only because he was in love with him. He didn't mean to fall in love with him, but it just happened. He loved Kaneki's style of fighting, his personality, voice (when he would actually use it), and especially his gorgeous eyes. Even though he was a half ghoul, Ayato had still fallen in love with him.

Ayato lets out a loud groan and slightly pulls on his hair. Why didn't he tell Kaneki how he felt about him? Why did he have to be so stupid? He really did love Kaneki and now he had dissappeared. Ayato was extremely worried about him. He wanted to know if he is safe.

He stood up and walked to the wall. His fist flew through the air and lodged itself into the concrete wall. He repeated this action until his fist was bloody and his arm ached. He felt so angry at himself for not telling Kaneki. He didn't know where he went, but he had to find him and keep him safe. He had to make sure he was okay.

Suddenly, Ayato thought of his sister and Anteiku. Maybe they would help him try to find Kaneki. He had to ask them. Grabbing his leather jacket, he walked out of the room and out of the building. He had stayed at Aogiri, but now he had a new plan. He wanted to be protected and to protect others, like Kaneki.

He walked in the shadows, walking through the secret passages, making sure not to be seen. He didn't want to be involved with anyone right now. The sky was a dark purple with sparkling stars. The cresent moon aluminated the sky amongst the stars. It was a beautiful winter night.

Sparkling white snowflakes, that resembled silver glitter, started to gently fall from the sky. The wind blew gently, rustling Ayato's hair and leaving little silvery sbowflakes into it. Ayato sighs gently and tightens his purple scarf around his neck and mouth. The air clouds up when he sighed. It was slowly, but surely getting colder, the temperature dropping.

Walking for what seemed like hours, which was only 45 minutes, the Anteiku coffee shop appears in Ayato's line of sight. It seemed so long ago when Ayato had come here to capture Kaneki and not to save him. 

There was a soft yellowish glow coming from other side of the windows. There was a very small amount people sitting at a table, drinking their coffee. There was also two people working inside the shop. 

The bell chimed as Ayato opened the door and entered the small coffee shop.

"Welco-" a gasp interrupted the person's welcoming. Ayato looks up from the floor to see Roma who had dropped the tray she was holding. The porcelain cups crashed onto the floor, shattering into pieces as the dark brown liquid painted the wooden floor. Roma's eyes were wide and Ayato could see a slight hint of fear in them. Enji looked up from the coffee he was brewing and Nishiki looked up from serving a customer.

"Roma! Whats the mat- Ayato!?" Enji says, a suprised expression on his face. 

"What are you doing here, Ayato?" Nishiki says with a slight growl in his voice. 

"Enji, is Yoshimura here? I'd like to talk to him," Ayato asks Enji.

"Yes, he is here. He is upstairs with Yomo. I'll go tell him that you'd like to talk to him. Follow me," Enji says as he makes his way to the door that leads to the second half of the shop. Walking up to the second floor, Enji knocked onto a door that was two doors from the stairs. A faint 'come in' was heard from the other side. Enji opens the door to reveal Yoshimura and Yomo sitting down on the sofas opposite of each other. They both looked up at who had come in. Yomo had his usual uninterested face on, whereas Yoshimura had on a small soft smile on his lips.

"Ayato-kun, what brings you here?" Yoshimura asks. Ayato looks at Enji, who understands and leaves. Ayato looks back at Yoshimura.

"I'm in need of your help. I'd like to seach for Kaneki-kun," Ayato mumbles softly. Yoshimura's smile widens softly as Yomo's frown deepens.

"Why do you want to find him?" Yomo asks. Ayato sighs softly.

"I-I think I have deep f-feelings for h-him. I'm worried about him," Ayato stutters out softly. His head is down and his eyes are squeezed shut.

"I see. I can tell you have deep feelings for him. We will find a way to help him, but I'm not exactly sure about what your sister will think," Yoshimura says. Ayato sighs softly again.

"Oh yeah, my shitty aneki. I'll try to get along with her, if she doesn't kill me first. I don't think she wants someone like me hanging around someone like Kaneki-kun," Ayato says softly, a slight irritated edge to his voice.

"Yes, that is true. I'll ask Touka-chan to try and behave herself too. Now, how about we get you a cup of coffee and we can then start to talk about how to find Kaneki-kun, " Yoshimura asks as he gets up and goes downstairs to make them all three of them some of his delicious coffee.

Ayato sighs softly and sits down on the armchair that was next to the couches. Ayato shivers slightly at Yomo's glare. One thing Ayato had to remember was that he has to try not to make him angry. After a few minutes pass, Yoshimura comes back upstairs with three steaming cups of coffee, a small bowl of "sugar cubes", and a can filled with the delicious dark brown liquid inside. The sweet aroma invaded Ayato's senses. God, how long has it been since he had a cup of Yoshimura's coffee? Once all the coffee was poured and the sugar cubes added, they started their conversation. Ayato had put four or five sugar cubes into his coffee. Yoshimura didn't seem to mind at all.

"Where have you been since Kaneki-kun dissappeared?" Yoshimura asks. Ayato looks down at the delicious dark brown liquid swirling in his porcelain cup. 

"I've been staying in a old, abandoned apartment building, that used to be one of the Aogiri's hideouts. I haven't left Aogiri, I'm just taking a small break from it," Ayato says.

He sighs softly and takes a small sip of his coffee. A small hum is heard. 

"This is delicious," Ayato says sipping more of the delicious concoction. Yoshimura smiles.

"Why thank you, Ayato-kun. Now, do you know where Kaneki-kun went or where he is now? The more information we get, the better of a chance to find him," Yoshimura states.

Ayato looks into his cup, swirling the dark brown liquid inside. He remembered seeing Kaneki, bloody and bruised, run through the secret passages. Ayato had wanted to go after him, but before he had the chance to, Kaneki had already dissappeared. He sighs softly before taking a small drink of his coffee.

"I did see him run in the direction of the 1st ward. He looked like he had been beaten up. I think there was also blood in the snow that was his," He mumbles.

"The 1st ward? That ward was abandoned two years ago and only the poorest of the poor and the cheapest criminals live there. I think he wanted some time to rest and think things over. Maybe you should let him be," Yomo says, slightly glaring at the dark haired boy.

"Maybe, but I'm really worried about him and want to make sure that he is alright," Ayato says sternly, a slight growl in his voice. He glares at Yomo.

Just then the door to the room crashed open and a certain fuming girl with bright indigo hair covering her left eye barged in. Nishiki and Himani were right behind the girl. Her cold glare, that would make anyone who wasn't used to it tremble, landed on Ayato. The girl's anger seemed to grow as she stomped over to him. Right before the girl was about to punch him, Yomo grabbed her wrist, preventing the girl's fist from making contact with Ayato's face. During all this, Ayato didn't even flinch. He was used to this after all.

"Ayato. What do you think you're doing here?! Who else are you going to hurt or take away?! Huh?!" Touka growls, her fierce glare not wavering at all. Ayato gulps down the rest of his beverage and places the cup onto the coffee table. He then looks up at his seizing sister, and sighs softly.

"I came here to talk to Yoshimura. I needed some info and some help. Nothing more. Now, if could kindly leave us be so we can continue our conversation," Ayato says looking at his sister with a bored look.

"Why you little...! Argh! What info and help do you need from the Manager?" Touka growls, clearly annoyed with her younger brother's visit.

"That is non of your conce-" Ayato is interrupted by a loud crash coming from downstairs and a scream.

Everyone rushes downstairs to see what all the racket was about. Downstairs in the cafe they see that one of the windows was broken, with bight crimson running down the clear glass. Shattered glass covered the wooden floor boards along with blood and coffee. In the middle of all the destruction was the Suzuki twins, Rei and Reiji, along with Kaira Kiyo in between them. 

The blood was from the dead body the bright crimson haired Kaira was holding. The arms of their victim were covered with cutting scars and their head looked like it was dropped from a ten story building. The person looked like a suicide victim. The Suzuki twins, Kiyo, and Kaneki were all very close and they only ate suicide or murder victims, even though Kaneki only ate ghouls now. They didn't eat or hunt living humans.

Kaira looked around the room until his eyes connected with Ayato's face. His eyes hardened, as the feminine red headed male strides towards him. Before Ayato could do anything, a hand shot forwards and he was smashed into a wall. Kaira's hand tighten on his throat. His face moved closer to the indigo haired boy until they were almost touching noses.

"Where is he Kirishima?! Where have you taken him?!" Kaira growled into Ayato's face.

"W-who?" Ayato chokes out from the hand holding his throat, blocking his airway.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about," Kaira says in a hard tone. Ayato's eyes widen as he recalls who the red haired male is talking about.


	4. Hunger and Getting Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to mix the manga and anime together in this story. So if you get confused about some part, tell me about it and I can try to fix it. 
> 
> Also, sorry for the short chapter.

He was curled up on the bed, clutching his stomach. It growled and pain sparked. He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. The pain he could handle, but the hallucinations he couldn't. They were starting to take a toll on his body.

It had started about three days ago. He was walking down the dark alleyways when he smelled blood. He had felt his left eye activate. He went to investigate the situation. In the shadows of the corners of the alley was a dead body with fresh knife wounds. Suddenly, a woman with lilac colored hair was standing in front of him, coaxing him to take a bite. 

He quickly made his way to his apartment. Once inside he had slammed the door shut and slid down it. He was panting slightly. The lingering scents of blood....

His stomach growls once again, but louder. He sits up and slowly stands up. He makes his way with shaky legs to the bathroom. Inside, he looks into the mirror above the sink. His skin is pasty white, there are deep purple shadows under his eyes, and his left kakugan is activated. The iris is twitching and moving slightly.

He sighs softly. This isn't good.

\-----

The indigo haired male grabs ahold of the wrist and fingers with his hands. The said fingers were squeezing his throat, the sharp nails digging into the skin. He gasps for oxygen, his limbs weakening in strength.

"I'll tell you if we can talk in private and you let go of my throat!" Ayato rasps out. Kaira sighs. His hand falls away from Ayato's throat and he takes a few steps back.

"I hope you will be able to answer some of our questions or your in trouble. Now, come," Kaira says as he turns around and walks towards the broken window. 

Ayato sighs softly and follows him. Rei and Reiji follow closely behind him. Before the red haired male steps out, he turns around to look at Yoshimura.

"Don't worry. We'll cover the cost of the new window. Just send me the bill," Kaira says before they set off.

\-----

White knuckles clutch the edge of the counter. He starts to try and prepare himself some coffee with shaky hands. He slowly reaches up and takes some grounded coffee beans from the cabinet. He fills a metal vase with water and turns on the stove. Placing the vase on the stove, he waits for the water to boil. 

A delicious aroma soon spews from a freshly poured cup of coffee. He sits down and stares at the cup. Reaching out, a hand slowly clutches the porcelain cup and lifts it off the table. Bringing the edge of the cup to his lips, he sips on the hot caffeine filled beverage. Only minutes later the first cup is drained and the second is being poured. His hunger wouldn't completely dissappear, but this would slow it down.

His hunger had gotten to a stage where he couldn't sleep and was hallucinating alot. One reason for loss of sleep was his insomnia, but the other reason was the hunger. He could ignore it, but it was getting more difficult to. He had tried many things to try to ignore or distract his thoughts from overwhelming him. He drank coffee, read books or manga, listened to music, anything, but nothing was working.

Maybe he would go insane.

\-----

The four of them were walking down an alleyway, heading towards Uta's mask shop. The streets were mostly empty, with a few adults walking home. The sun has started to set, painting the sky like a beautiful portrait. Soft pinks, reds, and yellows colored the clouds, which looked like big pieces of cotton candy. 

Once they got to the shop, they knocked on the door and walked in. Inside of the shop was dark with soft yellow glows coming from a few lamps. Different styles, colors, and types of masks hung from the walls. A few masks hung from mannequins that were placed in different areas on the floor.

"Uta? Are you in here? We'd like to talk to you about something," Rei says aloud.

"Alright. Hold on a minute as I finish this mask for a customer of mine," Uta says from behind his desk.


	5. The Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes to 2nd POV during a memory

Uta, Kaira, Ayato and the Suzuki twins all are sitting in Uta's living room. His apartment is the second floor above his shop. Reiji had made some coffee. The delicious aroma drifts through the apartment as they sit.

"So, what did you want to talk about with me? Something serious I presume," Uta says. Kaira sighs softly and nods his head.

"Kaneki has gone missing and we were wondering if you'd like to help us in our search. We know which way he has gone, but we do not know specifically where he has gone," Reiji states.

Uta touches his chin and looks as though he is considering the offer. A few minutes later Uta let his hand drop. A small smile forms on his lips.

"I would be honored to help. Now, tell me where you last saw him."

\-----

He had run out of coffee so he had to get more. There was only one small flaw in his plan. His hunger had started eating at his control. There were claw marks on the walls and there were bite marks on his skin. He had tried to see if he ate some of his own flesh that his hunger would subside, but the outcome was the oposite. His hunger grew even more. 

Right now he was in an dark alley, huddled up in one of the corners. His kakugan was visible and the iris and pupil were trembling and moving uncontrollably. His throat was dry and his thirst for ghoul flesh heightened tremendously. His hands gripped his arms, his fingers digging into his dark grey hoodie he wore.

He tried to think of something to keep his mind off the hunger and thirst for flesh and blood. He though about how he got to into this mess he was in. As the memories flood his mind, a certain memory appears amongst the numerous other memories. He starts remembering that moment as he shuts his eyes.

_You are standing on a roof of a high building. You are wearing a long sleeved black hoodie, skinny jeans, and some dark colored combat boots. Your dull black hair billows with the blowing wind. Both of your hamds are stuffed into the hoodie's pockets._

_Your stony grey eyes stare down at the city below you. You had come outside alone. There was no one to stop you from leaving, because you lived alone. It was almost midnight and the full moon and the glittering stars were out amongst the dark sky._

_You look downwards at the pavement below. There are barely any people around at this time of hour. The building you are standing on is about 40 meters high. So if someone fell from the top, they wouldn't survive._

_You are standing really close to the edge of the building, ready to jump, when you heard footsteps behind you. The footsteps become louder as the figure gets closer to you. The soft thud of feet soon stop, meaning whoever is behind you has stopped moving. The only noise in the air is your and the figure's breathing._

_"Are you really going to do it?" A voice asks softly from behind you._

_You turn around to meet the owner of the said voice. You see a teenage boy, about the same age as you, standing infront of you. He had shoulder length wavy indigo colored hair that was tied in a ponytail and pierced ears. He was wearing a black jacket, jeans, black combat boots, and a scarf that resembled two bunny ears._

_"Are you really ready to end it all?" The boy asks again. You sigh softly before answering the boy's questions._

_"I have nothing left to live for. No one to love or care for me. I'm just air to everyone around me," you say._

_"Is there really nothing left for you to live for? Is there really no one to love or care for you? Are you really just air to everyone around you?" He asks again. You don't answer._

_"Isn't there anything or anyone that you could live for? Is death really the answer?" He asks again as he takes a step closer to you._ _You stay silent, not bothering to answer his questions._

_He takes a few more steps towards you until he is right in front of you. He grabs ahold of your biceps and pulls you away from the ledge. Once you both are a few meters away from the edge, he pulls you towards him and wraps his arms around you._

_"There is always something or someone to live for. You just haven't found it yet. I went through something you are going through now, but I was able to find that one thing to keep living for. I believe you will too, but suicide isn't the way," he says softly._

_You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you wrap your arms around the boy. Tears slide down your cheeks as sobs shake your body. Your face is in the boy's chest as he tightens his arms around you. He rubs your back and waits for you to calm down._

_"No one except for my best friend has been this kind to me. Thank you, " you mumble into his chest. You lift your head to see the indigo haired boy smile softly down at you._

_"Your welcome. Now, let's get down from here," he says as steps out of the hug and grasps your hand. Your fingers intertwine with the boy's as he leads you into the building and down the stairs._


	6. Chapter 6 : The Monster's Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't submitted anything in a long time. I've been busy with school and haven't had much motivation to write. I'm writing a new story I'll post some time. Don't know when.

A group of ghouls are walking down a deserted road in the 1st ward. It is dark and no one is outside. They stop in front of an old shopping center. One of the ghouls, who has black hair and tattoos, smells the air. He then turns to the others.

"He has been here. I can smell his scent, but it is faint. I believe he has taken the high grounds to travel around the ward," Uta comments.

"Then we should go up to the roofs and continue our search, " Ayato says and starts making his way up the building. 

Once he makes it to the roof of the building without much trouble, a familiar scent hits his senses. It was the sweet scent of blood that was lingering through the air, but it wasn't no ordinary human's blood. It was Kaneki's blood. His gut churned, something was going on and it probably wasn't good. 

"Do you guys smell that?" Ayato asks.

"Yes, we definitely do, " Rei answers.

\---

He couldn't stand it anymore. It was overwhelming the pain that washed over him. He let his demons, that he locked up, free to control his body and mind. His consciousness was trapped in the very edge of the darkness in his mind, too weak to do anything.

The monster slowly awakens and his appearance shifts. He is no longer in black skinny jeans and a long-sleeved dark red shirt, but in a stark black and dark blood crimson colored armor made of the liquid muscle known as kagune. The strong bullet resistant muscles wrap themselves around his torso, limbs, and up his neck. Along with this strong armor, his incomplete kakuja kagune bursts from his lower back.

His left eyes has activated its kakugan. His eyes are wide as both his stone grey and crimson irises tremble slightly. Some of the armor forms a shield on the left side of his head, bright crimson muscle slithering down the side of his face to cover his eyes.

The monster is in a state of euphoria only for a moment before the stark stench of blood filled its senses. The stench was delicious. It wanted to know what it would taste like. Its mouth started watering. 

It wanted to feel the delicious dark liquid spilling down his throat and fingers. Hearing the blood-curdling screams echo into the night. It wanted to hear and feel the flesh being impaled by his dangerous muscles spouting from his lower back.

A static, screeching laugh left its mouth. The sadistic and masochistic state of mind the monster had was growing stronger. It couldn't wait to find its new victims.

\---

A loud screeching laugh echoed in the night. They all froze, shivers going down their spines. That laugh was frighteningly familiar to them. Looking into each others eyes, they set off towards the static cries of euphoria. 

In a dark alleyway, a dark figure was hunched over, shaking violently. As they near the figure, they can hear harsh breaths being taken and stark white hair. Ayato takes in a hitched breath, looking down at the figure a few meters away from them. He couldn't believe that this was the person he had started falling for. 

Everyone, except for Ayato, took a step back as the figure turned its head towards them. Its eyes were covered, but they could tell its eyes were unnaturally wide. The sickening smile only grew as it could smell their scents. It slowly rose, standing shakily on their feet. Then it slowly turns around to face them.

"K-Kaneki?"

Its smile and crack of its finger was the only warning, when it suddenly rushed towards them at lightning speed. Everyone jumped out of the way, not wanting to be trampled by the monster. It was laughing its high pitched screeching laugh. It was having a great time playing with them. Everytime one of it's kagunes almost pieced or hit someone, it started laughing more. 

Ayato couldn't believe this monster was Kaneki. It couldn't be possible. Ayato was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost was impaled by a stark black and dark blood crimson colored kagune. Reiji had jumped in just in time.

"Kaneki!" Ayato shouts.

"It isn't Kaneki anymore. It is a monster," Reiji says sternly. "Please stay focused in this battle. We must render it powerless."

"Y-yes... you're right. I'm sorry," Ayato stutters. He looks back at the dark figure infront of him. This was going to be long evening.

\---

It could hear so many hearts beating, helping blood flow through the veins right under the thin layer of skin. It wanted to taste the sweet bloo-

"Kaneki!"

The monster's strong swings of its kagune stutters for a moment. It knew that voice. It was very familiar to it, even though it couldn't figure out who's it was. Something inside it felt like it was trying to get out. 

\---

Uta sees the monster stutter for a moment. His eyes are glaring at the monster fighting them. He looks towards Ayato and yells, "Ayato!"

"Yes Uta?"

"Yell Kaneki's name again!"

"Okay. Kaneki!"

Uta looked closely at the monster. Again, its movements stuttered. 'It must be, because of Ayato's voice. Kaneki is still in there somewhere.'

"Everyone! Please listen to me! I have a plan!" Uta calls out.


End file.
